I saw this picture online today. I think it's an actual working hamster cage. But really, how much shredded paper does a hamster need? And is she gonna appreciate having your tax forms and other old files coming down on her at whatever hour of the day or night you decide to shred them? It's a pretty rinky-dink cage (furthermore), so it doesn't really look like the guy who invented this thing had the hamster's best interests in mind, nor the consumer of such a product.I had lots of hamsters in my childhood. I even had one who had babies and made me some money. I had teddy bear hamsters -- I should say I graduated to teddy bear hamsters -- they're fluffy like clouds, lots of long, long hair, tan and white. Kind of like shrunken guinea pigs. No tails, or only little stubs anyway. That's what makes them so cute.
When my hamster had babies it was a Wednesday night and I wanted to stay home from church and watch them be born but I wasn't allowed. I hated that.
Most of my hamsters lived on Wright Blvd. We moved to Donovan Street the summer before I went into the eighth grade. That wasn't a very good year for me. I moved the hamster cage out to the garage to avoid cleaning it and the little bugger committed suicide. It was a cold night and he balled himself up under his water bottle so that the water ran out of the bottle and soaked him. He most likely died of pneumonia. I hated that.
At improv one night recently a guy mentioned having a hamster. Well, one of the other performers pointed at him accusingly and---
