Mexicans stood outside of Home Depot, around the parking lot, all types, fat ones, skinny ones, ugly ones, handsome ones, strong- and weak-looking ones, laughing ones and quiet ones off by themselves, under trees, sitting, or standing at the entrance to the parking lot in groups, looking for work, waiting for someone to drive by-- or not even some one, maybe just looking for a truck or any kind of vehicle that might have meant work. Some of them had a water bottle, a gallon jug filled from the sink at home, or maybe a soda, something orange or brown. Some wore work boots, others running shoes or completely inappropriate shoes, their only pair, perhaps.It was getting on about lunchtime and I was sure every one of them was hungry, but I couldn't afford to feed them all. But I hunger, too. I knew it would work because the one guy waved at me as I drove into the parking lot. Me of all people!, I thought to myself, in a sedan. He waved at me to get my attention. Take me! Take me! I knew it would work, but he wasn't the one I pulled up to. My car would be overtaken if I pulled up to his group. And he wasn't right, a little too rough around the edges. I knew they were all that way but I had the luxury of picking exactly the one who was right for the job. That was my prerogative, I had the car; I was the White Man with the car and the job.
At the far end of the parking lot a boy looking no older than 12 or 13 sat by himself under a pine tree. He wore a tank top and baggy jeans, work boots that looked like skis they were so big. I wondered if they were hand-me-downs or found (or stolen), or if they really fit him. He would be perfect for the job. And he was far enough away from the others that I didn't feel too self-conscious driving up to him. He was sitting under a pine tree, sitting slouched under a tall, straight, stiff tree, a tree in formation, a triangle of trees, landscaping, bowling pins on the grassy bank next to the freeway and he was the bowling ball, all brown and smooth and perfect.
As I pulled into a parking spot next to where he sat, he popped up, just in case, dusted off the seat of his pants; ready. I rolled down my window and motioned him over with a tip of my head. "I've never done this before." I wanted to tell him I'd never done this before, but that seemed foolish, or at the very least just wrong. 11:52 on my dashboard. I asked him if he was hungry, he said he was. Are you gonna work today?, I asked him. He didn't know what I was talking about. I told him I didn't have work for him, yet, but I would be willing to buy him lunch and then bring him back here. He understood that, got in the car. We went to Lot-A-Burger and I nibbled on onion rings while he devoured, devoured a double fish sandwich, french fries and a large chocolate shake.
We didn't talk. I didn't know what to say, purposefully put the onion rings into my mouth at awkward angles, bites too big so I wouldn't be able to talk around them. He didn't seem to care, he just ate his food, his mouth stuffed full like a nervous gerbil, and smiled big showing partially chewed food through a missing tooth whenever our eyes met. My heart thumped the entire time. When he was finally done, he put his napkin wad in the paper sandwich boat and pushed his tray away. I picked it up, took it to the big industrial garbage cube and stuffed everything but the tray in. He was at my heels, maybe thinking he should be doing that. But I didn't want him to feel subservient. I wanted him to know he had some power, that I had given him some power.
I thought maybe I should go through with it but chickened out. We didn't talk back to Home Depot. Most of the Mexicans were gone when we got there. I was afraid I had prevented him from getting work and I said so, said I hope I didn't lose you a job. He said what? I said everybody's gone. He said they went home. Then he did a curious, sweet thing; he pushed up his shirt and rubbed his bare stomach and said, "They went home hungry!" He smiled. I asked him his name, he said Juan Carlos, I said Frederick and wondered if he'd lied about his name, too. I told him I would come by again if I had work, said I would look for him; he said he would be there in the same place, and I said again that I would look for him and he said he wanted me to, and I wondered if he knew what I was getting at.
